“Don’t confuse me with the truth! ” “I need to see this from my truth only! ” Sound familiar?
Have you noticed how quarrels escalate with emotional abusers? They tell you that some thing is bothering them in no uncertain terms, although often fail to fill most people in on what any hell it is. So here you are knowing fully everything that they feel, yet you will remain in the dark why.
Then, if you get getting a break, they may expand on their issue with you feel this sigh of relief, because today you have something you can cope with or at least address. Therefore you seek to share your perspective, your point of view. And wham, you’re cut off with, Don’t confuse me along with the facts. My mind is made up.
What emotional abusers are really telling you is usually that there is no room in your reality in a discussion with them. Embracing your point of view is beyond them. You see, your perspective doesn’t warrant their consideration, because they previously made up their mind and they really don’t want you to bamboozle them with your facts.
It may commence with, “That’s the problem with you… You’re too intense, too effective, too late with this explanation, too whatever to help you compel me to take most people in and actually hear that you have something to say… worthy of a attention, much less my attention. ” Get the picture?
A part of how they deal with their exclusive vulnerability is to make you wrong in order for them to be right. As you know, from where that they stand, they must be most suitable. So, don’t confuse these with the facts.
You feel unheard in that moment because you, indeed, are… You are not awarded permission to share. You are not a great opinion that differs from theirs. You see, if you wait to your point of view, there is a price tag in this interaction with an emotional abuser.
The price you pay is verbal psychological and mental abuse. You know the conversation is over, so you pull it back and lick all the wounds inspired by the developmental abuse dished out and keep you in your place. For everybody who is following me in this description of this interaction, then you likely have experienced verbal emotional use. It is both subtle and significant. It leaves most people emotionally off base, quite often even before you know what appeared.
Each of the mess around “don’t confuse me with the facts” is nothing more than an effort to re-establish an unequal distribution of vitality in the relationship. The psychological and mental assault or blow to your character is their effort and hard work to tilt the climb, because in that moment they are tasting their own vulnerability.
To get this message by way of you, the emotional abuser will pile on another film of attack aimed to avoid you in your tracks. It might just sound like this… “Well, would you logical position, BUT…
You know a “but” is coming and with it is the up coming emotional assault.
If this is the pattern of interaction with your intimate partner, take a hard and fast look at the dynamics of abusive relationships. That better you grasp those dynamics, the easier it will be so you might break the cycle from abuse before it spirals out of control.